Hello, everybody. Today, we’re talking about feminine energy, whether you really want a relationship, and attracting men who are sure about you. Grab some tea and prepare yourself; it’s gonna be fun, but it’s gonna be a bit of a tough-love talk, too.

Let’s start with this: have you ever experienced feeling like you are in some sort of talking phase? A phase where you’re getting to know somebody and it feels like you’re in a relationship, but things aren’t moving forward? Or maybe you want a relationship with somebody, but things aren’t moving forward?

If this feels familiar, then this one’s for you. Let’s talk about the problem with commitment, and whether you really want a relationship.

Certain or Uncertain? That is the Question

So something that I think is really important to understand is that when you’re talking about the thing that you want, you gotta be familiar with the energy of it. Why? Because you want to make sure that you’re a match for that thing.

I’ll explain this to you. If you want a relationship, the energy you’ll have is clarity and certainty. There’s nothing to be unsure about. So if you want a relationship, attracting someone who feels the same is going to require you to be truly, deeply sure about what you want.

Now, you might be thinking, “I’m absolutely clear on what I want. I want a relationship. It’s men that aren’t clear.” But here’s the thing: you’re saying that you want a relationship, but your actions may be showing otherwise. When we’re talking about energy, what we say doesn’t really matter. It’s about what we’re doing and how we’re expressing what we say that we want. How are you demonstrating that you want a relationship? For instance, the energy of a man who wants commitment is certainty, clarity, and honest communication. So if you’re involved in some kind of “situationship” (and hey, there’s nothing wrong with that if that’s what you want!) and you’re sure that you want a relationship in truth, but you keep attracting these “situationships” over and over again…is your energy really demonstrating clarity? Or do we have two people who are both demonstrating uncertainty?

If It Bothers You, It Matters to You

It’s very easy to vilify the other person and say things like, “Well, they have commitment issues. They don’t know if they want a relationship. They don’t know what’s going on.” But if we are there and we are available for that situation, some part of us is also experiencing a lack of clarity over whether we want a relationship. That can be hard to hear, but I’d rather tell you the thing that you need to hear than the thing that you want to hear. Why? Because you keep experiencing this problem over and over and over again. Someone needs to tell you so you don’t keep falling into the same trap!

So there’s this thing, right? If you’re talking about manifestation, you’re talking about energy. If you’re experiencing something over and over again, it’s a pattern. If it’s a pattern, that’s not saying something about you and what you’re worthy of; it’s telling you something about what you believe is possible.

So let’s shift out of the zone of blame, and instead let’s get into the logistics of what it means to want a relationship. This pattern is telling you about what you believe that you’re worthy of, because the energy of somebody who’s dropped into feminine magnetism—the energy of someone who’s dropped into their femininity and believes they can have the thing that they want—wouldn’t even be able to notice that this was happening, because it wouldn’t be a pattern to them. They would never engage with the mismatch of expectations in the first place, because that’s all it would be to them—a mismatch. It wouldn’t make them angry when someone says they “just wanna go with the flow” or “I’m not really sure what I want” or “Everything’s going great just as it is! What’s the problem?” We don’t notice the things that don’t bother us. So if we’re not bothered by differing expectations, if we’re confident that we can find someone who does want a relationship, it doesn’t bother us when we come across someone that doesn’t.

I think metaphors are always best for the subconscious mind, so while talking about figuring out whether you want a relationship, let’s use the metaphor of looking for a job. If you’re looking for a job and a company says, “Hey, I’m only looking for part-time,” and you don’t want part-time, that has the potential to irritate you if you’re worried about finding a full-time job. But if you trust and know you’re going to find the job that you want, there’s not going to be any negative charge around that. You’re just going to say, “Oh, okay. That’s not me.” But if you’re activated by something like that, then that means there are feelings of scarcity. There are feelings of, “I actually feel like this is my only option and I’m mad about it. I don’t believe I can escape this.” And the reason I know this is because it used to be me feeling those things. I would see people in relationships and get green-envy eyes. I would throw my hands up in the air and wonder why it wasn’t happening for me. But then, when I finally sat down with myself and dug in deep, I realized that on some level, I didn’t actually believe I could have the thing that I wanted.

Like I was saying earlier, the energy of magnetism or feminine energy is clear. It’s certain. That’s why it attracts people who want commitment. It knows what it wants, and it believes it can have it. So when a guy comes around who says “I just wanna go with the flow” or “I’m not really interested in something long-term,” it’s not even an option. There’s no vilification of that person. There’s just a realization of a mismatch. “Oh, no big deal. Nice to get to know you.” There’s no “oh, I need to go show him, or “Oh, he’s toxic.” It’s a simple mismatch of expectations, and they move right along.

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Leaky Energy: How to Plug the Leak

 So what I hope to teach you today is that entering this dating thing with very clear energy, not leaky energy. Leaky energy is when you’re saying the one thing and your actions are doing the other thing. A lot of times we are thinking to ourselves, “Why is it that I can’t get my actions and intentions to sync up? Why can’t I stop entering these situations? I know differently, but I can’t stop.” But here’s the thing: maybe we kind of want it to not work. If you’ve seen things that have the potential to help you in your dating life, but it feels hard or it feels like it’s going to take too much energy, maybe you want it not to work. Because if it doesn’t work, you get to keep telling the sad story about your dating woes, and people get to keep gathering around you and throwing a pity party. If I’m talking to you, I’m talking to an old version of me, because I used to do this shit all the time.

I’m going to be totally honest with you: if you have seen things come into your world that are trying to support you and help you with struggles that you may have with dating, and you keep insisting you don’t need it, you’re blocking your own blessings. Even more than that, on some level, you don’t actually want the relationship. If you wanted it, you would do what you needed to do to get it. As human beings, we are so driven by the things we want. We stop at nothing. So if there’s something you say that you want, but you keep making excuses about it being too hard to get, then you don’t actually want it.

Do You Really Want a Relationship?

If you’ve ever found yourself asking why someone won’t commit to you, or find yourself in what feels like a relationship but isn’t yet official, and you can’t figure out what you’re doing wrong, I have some news for you. You’re not doing anything. But I say this with love: it’s time for you to make room for a man who wants to put you first. If that’s something you’re interested in, if you’re sure you really want a relationship, make sure to join me and a community of other women in the Game of Attraction, a two-day live experience where I show you how to go from chasing guessing games and feeling confused to being wildly pursued. Sign up using the link below.

Game of Attraction sign-up: https://beatricekamau.mykajabi.com/offers/ueSEVcWR?coupon_code=LETSPLAY

Be sure to connect with me more over on Instagram @theselflovefix. I’d love to hear what you thought of this post and what your major takeaways were.

Head over to my website to learn more about how we can work together to shift your energy & transform your life.

Escape the situationship cycle and become available for an actual relationship. Take accountability for what you really want with my free, transformative 5-day resource. Receive daily tips to help you attract the right kind of men. https://bold-hill-3643.ck.page/2ee1aa3101