If you’ve ever questioned your skillset or worthiness, this is the post for you! In your job, if you’ve felt unappreciated & undervalued, or if you have felt that relationship-wise, I want you to keep reading. You may feel like people aren’t seeing what you have to offer or maybe you’re insecure about what you have to bring to the table because you’ve been fired or didn’t get a job you were going after. If things seem easy for someone else and so much harder for you, then I have some messages for you to hear.
When we experience setbacks, we commonly jump to the conclusion that it’s something about us or something that wasn’t meant for us. We assume it’s something that we’ll never have. But I want you to start seeing that it’s not about you and what you have to offer. You may just need to prompt a shift in your energy for everything to change.
I was inspired to talk about this because I saw a lot about the national residency matching program on social media. For this, those who are in medical school get matched to a program for their residency. On social media, I saw a lot of people posting about getting into their dream programs. But I also saw people that didn’t match.
This only happens once a year in the US, so if you don’t match, you have to wait another year. A lot of people who weren’t matched were sharing vulnerable stories around this, noting that they felt challenged and defeated.
This made me think about how when we invest so heavily in something, we want to get something out of all the work we put in. Maybe it’s a promotion or recognition or something to that effect. But as we pursue that, we never ask ourselves if what we’re looking for is out of obligation or desire. This is an important call-out.
Maybe you think what you’re after will give you something, like security or value. But are you doing what you are a certain way because people are telling you to do it that way? Are you looking to fit in a box?
This makes me think about how I really didn’t know that we are free to pursue things we love and enjoy with work. I thought everything had to make sense or be a decision that someone counseled me on.
But it’s so important to love what you’re doing in the grand scheme as far as your career goes. That’s where you have the opportunity to shine the most and do your best work.
Around this, recognize if you’re using language like “I have to,” or “I should.” It could be possible that you’re so honed in on someone else’s career path or approach to finding a job that you are doing things solely from that mindset.
This leads me to the fact that everyone needs to find the environment that speaks to their skillset. Without that, you’ll always feel unappreciated, undervalued, and insecure. I know this because I’ve been there! When this happens, it’s not you.
I know that the tendency is to think it’s us when things don’t land the way we expect. but everyone is attuned and aligned to different things. And that means that a certain environment or people won’t be for you. That’s normal.
A few years ago, I was in a job that just wasn’t right for me. I would try to communicate and would get shut down a lot. What I had to say just wasn’t valued. I became afraid to say what I thought because I was scared of being criticized. But at the same time, I did not have the confidence to leave (thankfully, I was laid off).
After that, I discovered that my skills in analyzing systems and finding solutions is one of my best assets. I also learned that I have an amazing ability to joke around and make people laugh at work. This is a wonderful skill set and I’m so glad that I recognize it now. But this really made me see that it’s all about the environment, and it’s so crucial to your gifts and personality and how they’ll display themselves.
My next job was a much better fit for me and I was SO much happier every single day. Being in a better environment with better people suited to my personality, I was thriving on a new level. I was confident working on my own business on the side. There was just this amazing ricochet effect that touched all facets of my life.
A lot of times when we have trouble connecting to our own worthiness, we end up unknowingly acting from that place. This means that we’re doing things out of obligation instead of desire, and we feel like we’re operating from a place of scarcity.
From there, we can’t get in line with what we desire and we’re numbed out from what we’re doing. We tune our emotions out and tolerate our job, never asking ourselves questions like:
It can lead us to think that we missed the boat on whatever was actually meant for us and that we’ll never be recognized for our skills and gifts. But all of this couldn’t be further from the truth.
Maybe you should be open to opportunities you weren’t before. It could turn out to be your dream opportunity. Once you choose yourself, things will change. Start placing yourself in an environment or around people who affirm you and what you have to offer.
Once you do that, your mood in general will be better. I’m talking at home and in your relationship in addition to at work. You’ll keep expanding your happiness, and that will be the BEST feeling.
If you’re single and aware of the things you bring to the table, you may continually be placing yourself around people who don’t see these things. That could lead to you questioning what’s wrong with you or projecting onto other people.
We desire reciprocity and when we’re in this environment, we fear that that doesn’t exist for us. Then, we end up choosing chaos, confusion, and lack of clarity. That’s because we have trouble connecting to our needs, trusting that they can be met, and trusting our own discernment with whom we get involved romantically. It really does go back to the self-doubt versus self-trust thing.
If you are in a relationship but you don’t feel safe enough to express yourself, and instead feel emotionally unsupported, unappreciated, and unseen, you become a different version of yourself within the relationship. Again, this is all about the environment. The relationship will bog you down and you’ll want to start asking yourself whether it’s worth staying in this environment.
During a healthy relationship, we truly soar and expand. We feel happy, joyful, and light. We really need to trust ourselves and our bodies to sense those relationships and to speak to us when we’re in a relationship that’s not healthy or useful in our lives.
Manifesting what’s for us through self-trust is a huge hallmark of self-love, and that’s what I’m really professing in this post. Trust yourself, trust your body, and be in your agency and you really can’t go wrong.
Thank you sooo much for reading!
Be sure to connect with me more over on Instagram @theselflovefix, I’d love to hear what you thought of this post and what your major takeaways were.
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