Welcome back! Today’s post is all about anxiousness and self-doubt along with the fear of being fully seen, especially in the context of codependency, recovery, or having experienced emotional trauma or even narcissistic abuse in the past.
Many times, people feel bad for just being themselves or expressing themselves authentically. This leads to people showing up differently than who they actually are. So, we’re going to talk about that in the context of boundaries and what you have to offer. This applies to things like job interviews and interactions with clients. We’ll also talk about whether something is your intuition or your trauma talking.
I just want to say here that I’m referring to this topic as anxiousness rather than anxiety. This is because I’m not a doctor and can’t diagnose anyone with anxiety. So, now that I got that disclaimer out of the way, let’s talk about anxiousness in the context of self-doubt.
Sometimes, this feeling can reveal itself in relation to imposter syndrome. This is the internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be. The idea that you’re doing things wrong or are just not skilled might arise here, and an underlying fear of being called out, judged, or criticized will persist.
When this occurs, there could be the thought of whether you’re saying the right things or doing the right things. All in all, your mind will be plagued with all kinds of doubtful thoughts. Imposter syndrome puts a name to the chaos happening in your mind.
But I’m here to tell you that self-doubt does not mean you’re an imposter. Instead, it speaks to your ability to trust yourself and that your skillset is enough.
You need to trust your ability to communicate if something is bother you, which is where boundaries come in. It’s important that you trust yourself to know if something is okay or not okay for you, and then that you’re able to communicate it effectively.
I’ve also found that in the context of career especially, people often undermine their soft skills. These are things that other people may not have highlighted on a resume or in a job interview. You may have doubts about what you have to offer, but when you’re interviewing, getting to know a company’s values and presenting yourself as someone who upholds them in a unique way is really a show-stopper.
Day-to-day skills are SO important. For instance, something like the ability to create a positive environment or make someone laugh are both amazing soft skills to highlight. This is how you can go from self-doubt to certainty with what you have to offer.
Get connected to your soft skills. Even if you’re not highly skilled or trained in what you’ll be doing in a job, your soft skills can get you hired, which is really valuable.
If you own a business, you may experience self-doubt in a different way. This could manifest itself around pricing, the way you launch, or really any other aspect of how you run your business.
It’s easy to get caught up in these things and the questions around them. It distracts you from the question – what do you want from your business? That’s where you should put your focus. It’s so important to shift from self-doubt into trust, especially when you own a business and are forging your path.
Many times, people question whether it’s their intuition or trauma speaking when they’re making decisions or navigating life and career. This is simpler to navigate than you think. With trauma, you know what it feels like to be led by it and what your behavior and patterns surrounding it are. If you end up choosing that path, it’s because it’s comfortable.
On the other hand, the way that your intuition speaks to you is much different than your trauma. While trauma is loud, scattered, and confusing, your intuition is consistent and gentle. It’s not loud or disruptive. Tune into that voice and your body. Get started by asking what your body is saying to you and asking yourself if you’re listening to it and honoring it. It’s as simple as that!
Know that tuning into your desires can help you overcome your self-doubt and anxiousness. It’s normal to experience self-doubt, but don’t let it overtake you in terms of your career. Doing the work to overcome it is always worth it in the end!
Thank you sooo much for reading!
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