Today, I’m here to talk about codependency and ALL the things no one tells you about it. I want to get into something about this topic that impacts your life that no one really talks about. I’m going all-in on this topic – what it is and what I want you to know in general so you can overcome your own struggles with codependency.
There are a lot of ways that codependency is defined, so let’s talk about that. People say it’s the state of being hyper-dependent on someone else or other people say it’s enmeshment towards a relationship with someone else. Other people connect it to people who have been through narcissistic abuse or have a relative or a partner who has an addiction.
The way I view it is that codependency refers to any meshed relationship in which one person loses their sense of independence and believes they need to tend to someone else. I like this definition because it speaks to the loss of independence.
Codependency says that someone is no longer an individual and they don’t have the agency to make their own decisions. They’re too scared to do so. These individuals struggle with an identity crisis and they don’t know who they are. In short, codependency is essentially an inability to self-trust.
Most people don’t realize that they are having trouble trusting themselves or their intuition. Many people believe, instead, that it’s a self-love issue. From there, you start looking for the things that are “wrong” with you and resenting what you find.
I know this because I’ve been there – and it can be overwhelming. But let me tell you – there’s nothing wrong with you! But these thoughts lead to self-betrayal and self-doubt.
This causes us to lean on someone else to know what to do. We believe we’re inherently wrong and we need to be dependent on someone else for their direction and guidance and to know how to live. It’s a constant state of being unsure.
Codependency ends up affecting so many aspects of your life. You’ll have trouble trusting others and an inability to connect with your body, your own needs, and your own intuition.
It leads to us living in a frantic, hyper-vigilant state looking for someone to trust. We end up in situations where we don’t feel safe and we can’t trust. We end up ignoring all of our body’s signals.
But I want you to know that you CAN trust yourself and that your intuition is always guiding you. You just need to shift your connection to your body, prioritize your emotional state, and start trusting that intuition.
When that becomes the most important thing to us, it becomes the foundation from which everything changes.
We can transform from a state of franticness and fear to, “I know who I am, I am who I say I am, and it doesn’t matter what anybody says about me. I know where I’m going and what I’m doing. I know what’s best for me and I’m my best advocate.”
Thank you sooo much for reading!
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