Have you ever felt anxious about where you are in comparison to other people?

You are not alone. It happens even for me at different levels.

Have you noticed when we walk through life feeling a sense of lack, we seem to find lack everywhere we go? You carry this feeling of, “I’m never enough”, and that is almost the foundation of codependency.

Codependency teaches us lack. Codependency teaches us limited resources. Codependency teaches us to sit and dwell on a feeling of lack and to find evidence to confirm it. But what if we did the opposite and found every reason for abundance? 

I’ll show you how to stop that spiraling feeling of comparison and jealousy, so keep reading!

You get to define your version of love, happiness, and joy

We’re always trying to experience love and to be loved. And so whenever we feel jealousy, we feel bad because it’s not who we are! You’re meant to feel and experience love, joy, peace, happiness. 

Here’s the deal. You get to define what that looks like for you. Did you know that?

With jealousy, we try to hide it or not talk about it. We might even lie to ourselves about it! We learn that jealousy is something to be ashamed of. 

I truly believe that at our core, there’s just love. There’s just happiness. There’s joy. That’s who we are. It’s our essence. That’s why whenever we feel a disconnection from that, we feel worse and we almost get feelings of anxiety.

When we see other people achieving things, we’re looking at ourselves and we’re seeing lack. We’re convinced that getting whatever they have is going to give us that feeling of love that we are seeking. 

I know it sounds crazy… What does love have any to do with this? I promise you, at the core of everything, we are trying to experience some feeling of love or joy or happiness. When we’re not clear on our version of that and we see other people’s version, that can be problematic.

If we’re waiting on anything, we’re missing the opportunity to look around at what could give us joy right now in our lives! I know that it’s easier said than done, but I’m not kidding. If everything that was to make us happy and make us feel good existed outside of us, that would mean our feelings are contingent upon them.

So it can’t be things. It can’t be things that make us feel good. It must be that things reinforce it. It must be that things continue a feeling that we already feel. Does that make sense? Because we’re not even knowing what we’re wanting. We’re just thinking that it exists outside of us. We think that things are going to make us feel better. I promise you, they’re not.

Look for abundance

There is abundance and a massive amount of abundance for you, for me, for all of us. And there are no limited resources when it comes to your happiness and what you get to experience. If we could just tune in to the way abundance is already showing up in our lives, we could move from jealousy to inspiration when we see other people.

Jealousy isn’t bad because it brings to our attention something that’s going on within us. It’s telling us we desire to feel happiness, joy, and whatever other emotions are being evoked that we’re seeing other people experience. It’s telling us we want some of that and it’s telling us we know we deserve it.

We’re just looking at it from an angle of, “It’s possible for them, but it’s not possible for me.” We feel jealousy in the first place because we know we deserve it! We’re just having trouble calibrating to that worthiness. 

Let it talk to you

What if you partnered with the jealousy that you’re experiencing?

What we usually do is suppress it and we say it’s not true. We’re not feeling it and we deny it. And that’s the worst thing we could do because we’re moving further and further away from our truth. If you’re feeling it, there’s a reason you’re feeling it.

So ask yourself what could be causing the jealousy. Do you believe it to be true, do you believe that there are limited resources? Is the jealousy you’re feeling absolutely true or is it just simply a thought you’ve come to believe? 

The very nature of the word abundance is that there is no end to it. There’s no beginning to it. There’s so much if we can get really focused on what is working, what we have, and what is making us happy. Let’s affirm this together, “I am on my path and when others flourish, I flourish.” Everybody gets to flourish. There is abundance.

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How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others and Overcoming Jealousy: The Bottomline

Abundance is limitless. We have been taught by our parents and society that there are limited resources and we’re all in competition – lies. Remember, you are on your path. If somebody else is getting to a destination before you, it says nothing about you. You came on this earth to live out your own path! 

Thank you sooo much for reading! 

Be sure to use code “bizbirthday20” at checkout to save 20% off my e-books, e-courses, workshops, and more over at beatricekamau.com/programs

Be sure to connect with me more over on Instagram, I’d love to hear what you thought of this post and what your major takeaways were. 

See you back here for the next one! 

xx Beatrice