Welcome back to The Self Love Fix. Today, I want to talk about the tendency we have to normalize what is not “normal” by playing into limitation and a victim mindset around our current reality.
What do I mean by normalizing what is not normal? Let me explain…
There’s a lot of things people normalize that I just can’t imagine normalizing; for instance, a lot of people normalize really hating their job, yet continuing to go there every day.
Now, I get it—you have to support your livelihood. Not everyone can just up and leave their jobs. But a lot of people complain, complain, complain, and still stay there…even when they have the capability to leave.
They do this because it’s become a thing in our culture. If you go on TikTok, Twitter, or basically anywhere on social media, you’ll find people normalizing complaining about this.
People fall into the mindset of believing they have to keep doing this, regardless of how miserable it makes them. They go to sleep dreading their next work day, wake up, go back, and just keep repeating the cycle.
I refuse to fall into this trap. I refuse to feel like a victim to life.
I know that there is always another reality available to me; all I have to do is lean into it, get my energy behind it, and shift my frequency around it.
It’s so funny to me how people will get so zoomed in on their current reality that they end up locked in it.
This, by the way, speaks a lot to the victim archetype. Those with a victim mindset tend to get caught in the idea that the reality they’re currently living is the only one available to them.
A lot of people are trapped in this victim mindset, and they don’t even realize it. They don’t even allow themselves to think beyond how they’re currently living.
It’s too easy for us to limit ourselves through a victim mindset, and there’s just no need for it. Every single person is living a different reality than I am—who’s to say that the reality I’m living right now is the only reality that’s available to me?
I have never been available for a victim mindset, personally. There are people out there who own islands. There are people out there that are living in twenty-million-dollar homes. There are people out there that own twenty investment properties. There are regular, average people out there that own multiple commercial properties. And you expect me to believe that I’m supposed to be locked into some reality just because this is the way things have always been for me? No. Absolutely not.
You might have previously seen me mention that I’m a registered dietician. And when I was in my dietetic internship, I remember that I thought to myself, “I’m going to do this for five years or less, and then I’m moving on to create my own business. I thought that, and then I locked it in.
And I did it. I created a business and left my job—which, by the way, I actually loved my job. I wasn’t miserable. However, I knew that chapter was closed, and it was time for me to move on.
People stay in places and positions longer than they need to because of how the people around them have normalized staying put. They know the chapter is closed, but they don’t trust themselves to take the leap. Their victim mindset tells them this is the only thing that they can ever have.
They’re also probably spending too much time in environments where they’ve normalized something that I just don’t believe should be considered “normal.”
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This is why, if you’re trying to do big things—whether you’re trying to enter an a level of wealth you’ve never had before, make more than you ever have before, start a business, start a healthy and aligned relationship…whatever it might be, if your environment is reflecting a life of limitation, if the people you spend the majority of time with are playing into this victim mindset, you’re going to struggle.
I’m not saying anything bad about these relationships you have with these people; that’s fine. But if limitation and victim mindset are all you’re plugging into, good luck trying to create a life that goes beyond that.
For me, one thing I did to avoid limitation and victim mindset was getting into masterminds or group coaching programs where people were normalizing what wasn’t normal…but in a good way.
These people were normalizing five-figure months in business, and that was something I had never heard about when I started out. I wanted that to be normal in my world, because at the time, with the people I was interacting with, it wasn’t normal.
I still loved those relationships, but I also needed to be in an environment where the place I was heading toward in my business was normalized.
It can be both. I’m not saying you should get rid of your friends. I’m just saying that it’s important to cultivate an environment with people who have very much normalized where you are headed or where you want to be. Because when that becomes normalized in conversation, when that becomes normalized in your day-to-day life, you begin to believe it. You begin to have conviction around it, and it becomes the standard for your life.
As a society, we’ve deeply normalized the victim mindset of, “I’m locked into my current reality.”
This is why people never manifest or create a life outside of their current one, because they don’t even dare to step outside of the box of limitation and victim mindset and step into the frequency of limitlessness. It’s a whole different game. And the moment you make a decision to enter limitlessness, you begin to normalize that mindset instead.
For me, stepping out of a victim mindset and stepping into a limitlessness one looked like this: earlier, I mentioned that during my dietetic internship, I decided I wasn’t going to be working for very long before I decided to do my own thing. Because in that environment, everyone was talking about this cap on our earning potential. They were living in limitation. They were living with a victim mindset surrounding their ability to earn money.
I decided right away I was not going to play into the victim mindset of having a cap on my earning potential. And in the same breath, I also knew I wanted to have a family one day. I wanted to be really present at home. I knew how my energy worked, and I knew I wouldn’t have the energetic output to go from work to home, from hustling to taking care of children, to barely having a moment to myself. It would end up being a constant cycle of catching-up energy.
I felt that in my home growing up, where your parents come home and they can’t even get a breather. They have to jump straight into cooking, tending to the house, and taking care of their kids.
I made a decision that I wasn’t going to be able to do that, and I didn’t make myself wrong for it.
That’s an important piece. There are some people who actually can do that and they’re fine with it. There are some people who love their jobs and can handle all those things no problem, but I knew I was never going to be one of those people. I would either end up having a mental health breakdown or something would get compromised.
So that was the first decision I made. I didn’t know what it was going to look like. I didn’t have the details, and I didn’t care, to be honest. I just made the decision.
Here’s the cool thing about making a decision and entering the realm of limitlessness: life will meet you there. God will meet you there. The universe will meet you there. Everything will fill in the blanks.
Too many people want control over this thing; they want to know the next step well before they ever have to take it. They want a timeline solidified in their heads. They want a calendar to point to when they start to get nervous because something hasn’t happened yet.
I had a conversation with some of my clients not too long ago where they were trying to get their energy behind the business ventures they wanted to get into, and I was letting them know that this was not an “if” thing. It was happening. They were already on the path.
I was showing them this because when we’re stuck in this idea of life only being able to happen one way, when we’re trapped in a victim mindset, we can’t see where life is actually already bringing you to the thing you think is impossible.
I live a life of limitlessness every single day. In fact, the way I see the world on Monday might be flipped up completely upside down by the time I get to Sunday.
I’m not joking. Every day my mind changes and expands and dissolves limitations. Every day I get further away from a victim mindset.
I wasn’t always this way. A lot of it is about deciding and moving my energy; when I decide something, my energy’s always behind it.
Some people make decisions or decide this is how they want things to be, but their energy’s not behind it. This is one of the things I believe I’m very good at teaching, because I’m so familiar with victim vibes. There is not one limitation you could tell me that I can’t share an alternate reality that’s available for you.
I don’t believe in limitation. I’m telling you that with everything I have.
There’s always another way. You can’t shock me with your limiting beliefs. You can’t shock me with your mind blocks. I always know another way. I just do.
I hope this helped you recognize alternative possibilities and ways of living available to you!
Be sure to connect with me more on Instagram @theselflovefix. I’d love to hear what you thought of this episode and what your major takeaways were.
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