Here at The Self Love Fix, I’ve talked plenty about my own coaching methods and the things I see with my clients. But today, I want to have a conversation about something I don’t think I’ve ever spoken about before: my own relationship to coaching and mentorship, how I utilize that support in my own life, and how it’s played such a huge role in my journey to where I am today.
First of all, I look at coaching and mentorship as a modality for support.
The way I look at support is different than it used to be. I now believe that I don’t have to be in a dire situation in order to receive support.
There was a time where I did look at it like that; I would think, “Why do I need a coach? Why do I need a mentor? I’m not in crisis. I don’t need one.”
Now, I don’t think about seeking coaching and mentorship as something where I’m saying, “I’m in this really bad situation. Help me, help me, help me, help me.” That’s not how I look at it. I look at it as saying, “I really want to expand my mindset. I really want to see things differently.”
It is so important to me that I have support in place before I need it, because it saves me so much grief—and so much time. By receiving coaching and mentorship and knowing that I have someone there who knows my patterns, my habits, and can speak to where I might be getting in my own way, I save myself time, because they might have walked down the same path as me twenty times over and know a shortcut I can take to get to the other side.
They can say, “Oh, I see where you’re headed. This is the easier way to do things,” or, “You’re looking at it from this angle right now. But here, if you see it from this angle, it’s easier to tackle.”
They can even point out to me how far I’ve already come, if I start to lose sight of that.
Let me tell you why that last piece is so important. We as human beings can be so hard on ourselves; we can get into this head space where we might actually lose sight of our own power. We might actually lose sight of where our talents lie, where our strengths lie, just how far we’ve come on our journey, just how much we’re capable of, or even how close we are to the thing that we are manifesting.
I recently plugged in with my coach over wanting to shift out of a certain mindset. I was so certain that I was stuck in it, but because she knows me and my patterns, as well as where I am now compared to when we started working together, she was able to make me aware of just how far I’ve already come. She was able to remind me that I was exactly where I needed to be, and she brought a lot of clarity.
Now, I could have figured this out on my own, but I promise you it would’ve taken so much longer. It would’ve been way more dramatic, because here’s the thing: we’re human beings. We all have moments where we can’t see things with the same level of clarity as we would if we weren’t in a certain situation. Because of this perspective struggle, we do need that person—whether that be a model, coach, mentor, or whoever—who can see us clearly. If you’re in a delusional mindset or lacking awareness of where you actually are or how powerful you actually are, they’re able to help you get out of your own head. At that point, you get to move things along with so much more speed and so much more ease.
One of the most incredible things about receiving coaching and mentorship is the ease that it invites into your life.
I once heard someone compare mentorship to having insurance.
If you were driving a car and you didn’t have insurance, you’d probably be on edge, right? There would be a constant loop of thoughts like, “I hope I don’t get into an accident. I hope nothing happens to my car.”
Without insurance, you end up living in this frantic state, because you don’t have something to fall back on. You don’t have any support in that area.
But when you have insurance, everything changes. When nothing is going wrong, you can relax, knowing you have support in place if/when something does go wrong; and if disaster strikes, you don’t have to scramble to track down support in the midst of your crisis. It’ll be right there waiting.
I love that example, because there are many days where I don’t say anything to my mentor, and that’s perfectly fine. And when I do need her help, she’s right there.
And like I said…things don’t always have to be wrong for you to reach out to your mentor. Sometimes you just need someone to reflect your own power back to you when you lose sight of it.
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One thing I love about coaching and mentorships is the level of vulnerability. You get to be honest and truthful with someone about what’s actually going on with you, and if they’re a good coach and good mentor, they’re going to see you exactly as you are and work with you right from where you are. That’s where the shame and guilt drops, because you are not made to feel as if you have to be further along to be helped.
Before I got into coaching and mentorship, I would spend a lot of time in guilt and shame because I didn’t have the tools or the ability to get myself out of my own head.
But when you have a coach who knows how to honor your vulnerability and knows how to lead and guide you from where you’re at…it’s the most incredible thing, because your shame and guilt gets to drop. And when your shame and guilt gets to drop, you start to shift and move and believe and think and see yourself differently.
This is also why I love masterminds and group coaching programs the most; when you plug into a community of like-minded people going through similar things, not only do you get to drop shame, you get to form new levels of acceptance within yourself. You get to normalize things that you keep buried away or you shame yourself for. You get to see that the things you think nobody else goes through are actually quite common.
The more we have vulnerability and allow the things we hold shame around to be normalized, the more those things get to be alchemized. They get to be seen. They get to be transformed into something that’s actually supportive to you.
But so long as you hide that thing—so long as you have shame around that thing and you don’t open up to someone about it—you’re going to be locked into it. You’re always going to be making decisions from that place, and it might not be supportive to you.
When you have a supportive source of coaching and mentorship, you learn how to live in duality. You learn how to be in your power and rise up to your potential, and you learn how to hold space for humanity.
Coaching and mentorship give you this beautiful space where you get better and better and better at eliminating shame. You’re able to expand your wholeness; you no longer hold space for your limitations. You’re able to evolve and see yourself in places and spaces you never thought you would be in. You’re able to see yourself accomplishing things you never thought possible, because you learned how to do the dance of calling yourself to your highest potential, as well as creating space and room for your humanity.
Things happen in life all the time. And when you reach out and get support along the way through coaching and mentorship, it’s the best thing you can do for yourself.
Coaching and mentorship invite so much ease into your life, and having that ease is the best feeling in the world. And when I look back, I can honestly say there’s no way I would’ve gotten through the things I’ve gotten through in my life if not for having access to coaching and mentorship.
Be sure to connect with me more on Instagram @theselflovefix. I’d love to hear what you thought of this episode and what your major takeaways were.
Head over to my website to learn more about how we can work together to shift your energy & transform your life.
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