Let’s talk about something spooky, or maybe it’s just disappointing! The concept of being ghosted in today’s world, it’s something that unfortunately happens a lot. I want to dive into this topic because it’s one that spurs a lot of emotions and I think it’s important to explore that as we talk about love, life, and dating.
With that being said, let’s talk about what to do if you get ghosted. This can put you in distress or make you feel bad about yourself, but it doesn’t have to! Learn more about navigating these feelings in the situation below.
For a long time, when someone ghosted me, I felt as though I needed to psycho-analyze what happened. What were they going through to make them ghost me? Why could they not communicate?
I also hear from people that another tendency when you get ghosted is to do damage control, to get that person interested again by showing their own interest. In these cases, I wonder if you’re truly interested or if you just like the attention they were giving you. Is it something you enjoyed and you want it back? It’s normal to want to be desired – it’s a human thing that happens.
However, if someone is not interested, it doesn’t say anything bad about you or them, for that matter. However, it’s important for people to communicate that. This is why it’s so frustrating to be ghosted!
But if they don’t reply and they just fall off, let’s stop psycho-analyzing people for that. Let’s not let it mean anything. Instead, make it about your desire. Is the way they’re acting aligning with what you desire? I’m going to venture a guess and say no.
Something to think about when you’re reaching out to someone you’re dating is what’s motivating that point of contact. For instance, are you reaching out to someone to genuinely connect, or is it more so you can have a dopamine hit that accompanies that attention? Is it you focused or attention focused?
It’s also important to look at the energy you’re giving off and how you’re interacting with the person you’re dating. If you’re being an ice queen or are closed off with your feelings, it will be harder for someone to pursue you.
It’s all about being open and receptive! This encourages the person you’re dating to try. The truth is that the energy to pursue what you want exists within you. But, your actions don’t elicit the actions of a man. He will showcase his interest in you as he sees fit, regardless.
If you feel a man is losing interest in you, you first need to ask yourself if you’re being receptive and open. If you are, ask yourself if you actually want to be with someone who’s not interested in you. The answer is likely no.
If your honest answer with yourself is that you aren’t being receptive or vulnerable, then you need to explore where your fear of being vulnerable stems from.
Doing a psycho-analysis of someone ghosting you is a way to appease your worries and fears. But I can’t stress enough that someone ghosting you doesn’t mean anything about you. Spiraling over this does not do anything for you or anyone else.
I totally understand it hurts when someone you’re enjoying getting to know just leaves. It’s just not fun – plain and simple. But, you can decide that it’s just information for you on how you will proceed in dating. For instance, it raises the question of whether you will stand for being treated that way. It also raises the question of whether you want to be with someone that shows you love and attention, someone who is stable and reliable. Do you want the chaos of someone who causes these emotions?
Asking yourself the things you want and realizing the answers in response to being ghosted is much more productive than the psycho-analysis of why it happened in the first place.
Let’s take radical accountability for what we want to experience. Let’s be willing to get clear on what we want to experience and what we want. Let’s be more concerned with our desires than we are about the lack of them. That’s where your power lies.
It’s important to communicate and not make assumptions while also practicing discernment in communication. If you’re getting signals from someone that they’re not interested, that will speak for itself. But if you are getting signals that someone is interested, remember that sometimes things get lost in translation.
It’s okay during dating to communicate with the people you’re seeing. Ask them how they’re feeling and share your thoughts. Allow people the time to think and reflect before they give an answer, if that’s what they need.
It’s also okay to reach out to people if you truly are interested and feel that connection. However, don’t be attached to how they reply. Don’t let their response mean anything about you.
It’s so important, in dating, to go with your intuition and follow how you feel. That will not steer you wrong. If it tells you to open up or leads you to communicate in a certain way, go with that.
Understanding your discernment and your intentions with someone will tell you a lot about the way you’re pursuing a relationship. Your intentions are so important to pay attention to through the beginning stages, and all stages, of a relationship.
Focusing on the connection itself with the people you’re dating will help you mature and also create intimacy, which is surely something you’ve been craving. While it is definitely hard to be ghosted, don’t let it cause you to spiral, instead, use it as information and the chance to examine the way you’re approaching the relationship in general.
Thank you sooo much for reading!
Be sure to connect with me more over on Instagram @theselflovefix, I’d love to hear what you thought of this post and what your major takeaways were.
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