In this post, we’re talking about all things standards. Especially if you’re someone with really high standards who wonders if other people around you, who are in happy relationships, are settling, this is for you! You may have found yourself wondering if these standards are working for you, and if that’s the case, you’ll definitely want to read on.
If we’re going to talk about standards, there needs to be a lesson surrounding it. This is something I wish people had talked to me about earlier in life. Like maybe in my early 20s. Because I wish I found these things out sooner, I’m going to give you the facts so that you can start working towards the love life of your dreams in the most effective way possible.
A lot of times, we create standards. This equates to entitlement, which masquerades itself as standards. And I’m not saying you’re an entitled person.
But rather, everyone has a bunch of ideas of what matters to us in relationships. We are stubborn about these things many times. These can be around things like height, profession, or really anything about the other person that you’re looking to date.
When you have these standards, you at first think you have unlimited time to find a partner. But as time goes on and you’re not finding people that meet these standards, you may start to question whether they matter as much as you thought.
After all, what does being a certain height have to do with cultivating a meaningful relationship? What does a specific level of education have to do with that?
What is helpful is looking at the standards that you have and asking yourself what actually matters. Clarify what matters and why you have each standard. The answers to these questions may surprise you.
I like to refer to standards as desires. Desire refers more to what’s important to us. Desire leaves room for being open to things and being receptive if they end up different than what we originally imagined.
It’s important to approach your dating life and desires with an air of practicality. For instance, if you know you want to have a family and carry your own children, you do need to approach that with a sense of practicality. You need to start planning when you want to have kids because there is a biological factor at play.
It’s easy to believe that everything will come together on its own. And I do believe in manifestation and that things happen for a reason. But it’s still important to operate with practicality and to plan to a certain degree when it comes to dating.
People do the practicality thing with education and their careers, so why not apply this to dating and our desires surrounding a partner? It doesn’t need to go out the window for this part of life. If we desire something, we get to have it. But we have to do our part to get it.
You’re worthy of what you desire. If you desire something, though, you need to be an energetic match for it in order to receive it. That doesn’t say anything about our worth.
That person you desire to be with also has their own criteria and their own set of qualities they’re looking for. If you’re not matching it for a particular person, it’s nothing personal. It doesn’t mean you’re not worthy, it just means it’s not the time for you and that person to be a match.
It takes a willingness to do whatever you need to do to get in alignment with what you desire. That’s the mindset you have to have in order to get what you want. In short, it just helps to be practical when you’re dating. Think clearly about what practicalities will set you up for getting what you desire.
The most important thing you can do is to face your limiting beliefs. Examine the beliefs you have that aren’t serving you that are sabotaging your dating life. Take accountability for these beliefs and then gain an understanding of how you want to do things differently.
This is not about changing yourself. It’s about you sharpening your skills to get in alignment with the things you desire.
Really thinking about what you’re looking for out of a partner is what you need to do in order to succeed in your love life. Once you do that, you can best work to align yourself and your energy to match what you desire. After that, all things are possible!
There are so many moving pieces when you’re dating. There’s a lot to think about. Getting clear on your desires is the best thing you can do to work towards your desires and get what you want out of your love life.
Thank you sooo much for reading!
Be sure to connect with me more over on Instagram @theselflovefix, I’d love to hear what you thought of this post and what your major takeaways were.
Head over to my website to learn more about how we can work together to shift your energy & transform your life.
And don’t forget there are just a couple of days left to sign up for Dating with Certainty! Dating with Certainty is my online gala event designed to help you get clear on and stick to your standards so that you can begin dating the types of men you desire.
See you back here for the next one!