In this post, I’m talking about trusting and releasing control in dating. We’ll touch on how you can trust that someone is a genuine person, learn to trust after heartbreak, and release control around things like a timeline or micromanaging a relationship.
Having a level of trust in the person you’re dating and being able to release control is so important in having a healthy relationship. So read on to understand how you can cultivate a healthier relationship and a love life that will bring you joy.
If you’re someone that has experienced abuse or emotional trauma, your mind may be focused on how you can avoid re-experiencing that. If you are in that boat, you’re likely focusing on the wrong thing. If you don’t want something – why talk about it? Why make it a focus?
You want to be able to trust that someone who is authentic and worthy can come to you. And, if you know what you don’t want, you want to ensure you know what you do want. What are the green flags in a relationship that counter the red flags you’re actively trying to avoid?
Finally, you need to trust that you’re worthy of receiving the love of a genuine and trustworthy person.
It’s really hard to trust someone again once you’ve had your heartbroken. Maybe someone you really cared about broke up with you, maybe you got cheated on – whatever it is, learning to trust again may pose a challenge. But it’s really important to work past that fear.
You should start by acknowledging that it’s painful and scary. From there, make it your mission to talk about what you do want rather than what you don’t. You don’t want someone that will cheat. You DO want monogamy and to be with someone trustworthy and honest.
When getting into a new relationship, make sure you’re asking the right questions. For instance, if you’ve had someone betray your trust by cheating, you’ll want to ask them what monogamy means to them to get an understanding of how that jibes with what you’re looking for in a relationship.
Furthermore, sharing your fears and being vulnerable with a partner opens the door for communication in a productive way, especially if the partner is right for you and your needs. Another way to trust is to stop expecting things to happen, to be neutral, and address things as they come along.
Releasing control of something like your dating and relationship timeline is tough to do, but it’s helpful if you push yourself to do this. You don’t want to be tied to when you THINK things should happen. It’ll put you into scarcity mode and you won’t be clear about what you want. Instead, you’ll go for any partner that comes along rather than what you actually want for yourself.
You need to let go of any sense of entitlement you have for what you want and what you think you deserve. A relationship and a man is not a reward. If you’re carrying that energy of, “I should have this,” then it’s going to be repelling to others. I know this from experience.
It’s not what you do that makes you worthy of love. And you need to trust that there’s an abundance of what you want out there that will come to you naturally. If you do trust that, it’s magnetic. I promise you, it is.
An energy of trust means that you believe your desires will be met. Having that timeline stuck in your mind means you’re making it mean something about you. You need to let go of those notions and simply focus on what you desire. Trust that the rest will fall into place and release the timeline, the particular person, or the particular timeframe that you’re holding onto.
If you’re in a relationship, you will also want to release control and stop micromanaging. This doesn’t need to be a blind loyalty thing where you trust just anyone to lead and direct you. Instead, it means that you’re trusting your own leadership as well as someone else’s – whether it’s God, the universe, or the person you’re in a relationship with.
What can be helpful here is to give your partner the chance to show you that they are trustworthy to do what you ask and what you want. Second, you need to ensure that you’ve clearly communicated your desires. Third, make sure you’re not communicating from a place of lack of trust or resistance.
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If you don’t trust yourself, you’ll have trouble trusting others. This applies to all facets of relationships, and it’s so important to trust your own ability to make decisions and carry out your desires.
This post is a great jumping-off point to really get your wheels turning about trust and releasing control in your relationships to ensure that you are approaching your love life in a way that allows everything you want to come to you.
Thank you sooo much for reading!
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