This post continues on our dating and love life theme. Today, I’m talking about the desires of others and why it’s not shallow for others to want certain things out of those they date and their relationships.

In dating, they’re allowed to want what they want as much as you’re allowed to want what you want. While this may be triggering to hear, it’s an important point to understand.

Why People’s Desires Aren’t About You

You may feel like you get to claim what you want and desire in relationships, but when your counterpoint claims what they want, it becomes shallow. 

For much of my dating life, I was very independent and a modern woman. I paid my own bills, got an education, and so on. However, I still wanted a traditional kind of guy. I wanted someone who earned more than me, was tall, and I definitely had preferences and somewhat of a punch list. 

However, when men have their “criteria” for the women they date, it comes off as shallow. Right? That’s not an uncommon thought. 

But I want you to come to an agreement that you want what you want and so do they. And what they want means nothing about me. In fact, I challenge you to look at things with that mindset. What they’re looking for means nothing about you.

How to Stop Attaching Yourself to People’s Preferences

Challenge yourself to the possibility that men out there are looking for you exactly how you are. Regardless of what you look like, what your personality is like, this is true.

It’s important that we stop attaching ourselves to other people’s preferences. Everyone is entitled to want what they want, but it doesn’t mean anything about us as people. Instead of subscribing to the thought that other people’s preferences are something personal, switch your mindset to something of abundance.

There is sometimes a level of entitlement. Many women who have certain things – a particular salary, level of education, and so on — believe that because of those things, they should have a man or a relationship of a certain standard. 

Just the same, men who have achieved certain things also have criteria for the women they date. And when it comes to that, you have to decide if you are willing to align yourself with what they’re looking for if you want to be in a relationship with that particular person.

Respecting Your Partner’s Desires

If you’re in a relationship and your partner expresses to you certain things that they want from you or out of your relationship, I challenge you to approach them with curiosity. Honor those desires and find a way to meet in the middle. Let them know you want to hear what’s important to them. 

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Everyone Has Desires: The Bottom Line 

The bottom line is that everyone has desires. Everyone in society operates out of desire — whether it’s conscious or unconscious.

Put judgment aside and see people from who they are. Remember that judgment will be your downfall in a relationship and it will prompt others to hide parts of themselves, which takes away the authenticity you’re searching for.

You can either take this information and understand that it’s how people think and operate, or you can deny it and suffer. That’s the truth. It’s up to you. 

Thank you sooo much for reading!

Be sure to connect with me more over on Instagram @theselflovefix, I’d love to hear what you thought of this post and what your major takeaways were.

Head over to my website to learn more about how we can work together to shift your energy & transform your life.

And if you’re ready to go even further into realizing and attracting your deepest, then enroll in Dating with Certainty — an online gala event where you learn how to get clear on the standards that truly matter to you in dating so that you can attract the type of man you desire to be in a relationship with.

See you back here for the next one! 

xx Beatrice