Do you find yourself struggling with self-doubt?
Do you find yourself constantly questioning whether you’re making the right decisions and second-guessing everything?
You’re not alone.
Overcoming self-doubt is something I’ve struggled with too, so I wanted to shed some light on how I overcame it and really dive into the root cause behind it.
If you have gone through narcissistic abuse or emotional abuse or you identify as codependent, you’ve most likely learned not to trust yourself. You have learned not to trust your body. You have learned not to trust your feelings. Gaslighting can also add a layer to this.
You essentially feel like there is something wrong with the way you process things or the way you go about things but it’s just lies. Somebody made you feel that way but it’s not true.
There is a reason you have your own body. There’s a reason you have your own mind. There’s a reason you have your own feelings. So, to hear more on how to overcome self-doubt, keep reading!
Have you ever felt that you have to adjust yourself and show up as some fake fictional version of who you are?
That hesitation to really express yourself and tell people these quirky different parts of you puts a damper on your personality. The reason we do it is for self-protection. It’s self-protection in the sense that we’re trying not to get rejected or trying not to “upset people” because we’ve learned that’s how we have to navigate the world.
Remember, you have a body, feelings, and a mind on purpose. A big part of overcoming self-doubt is aligning with that.
A big part of overcoming self-doubt is really saying, “I have a body, a mind, feelings, all the things, and they’re important and they matter. I can’t mess it up. If I’m saying something, if I want to express something, if I want to do something, if I want to take a certain action, I can’t mess it up.” I wish I had known that growing up.
All that you’re ever going to do is just come across different paths or different scenarios. But you actually can’t mess it up. You can’t. It’s impossible.
Do you know that a lot of the things that are holding us back from where we want to be and how we want to show up in life are due to old fears?
Did you ever have a parent or maybe a partner who made you second guess things? Did they ever make certain facial expressions at you or have something to say when you did something particular? (Like expressing yourself in a certain way) This most likely caused some fear inside of you.
Here’s the thing about our bodies, they’re powerful and they remember everything. Any time you’ve ever had any experience where fear was elicited, the body records that and keeps it on lock.
And interestingly enough, your brain is wired for survival and it tends to take rejection almost like a death. Isn’t that kind of crazy? The ego part of us, which is an aspect of the brain, takes rejection as similar to death – it’s something that should be avoided, something that you have to put your guard up around, something you have to move around.
Whatever your brain has recorded from the past, whenever you express yourself or make a certain choice and you learned that it was “bad” or it was the wrong thing to do – lies, it’s all lies.
This is your reminder that you’re at liberty to make mistakes! Honestly, I was like the poster child for self-doubt. I knew that I had tools and things that I learned that helped me and I wanted to help other people who had been down a similar path. But here’s the thing, I struggled in overcoming self-doubt. Using my voice was always such a thing I was afraid of because I learned growing up that my voice was just to be ignored.
My voice wasn’t something important, which is lies, but that’s what I learned. And I was always afraid to use it because it seemed like growing up, every time that I did use it, somebody had something bad to say about me or had to criticize me – so I just stopped using it.
I had all kinds of self-doubt. I believe whenever we step into something outside of our comfort zone, we’re going to be hit with those limiting beliefs and thank God because then we can work through it and we can emerge an even more expanded version of ourselves.
Overcoming self-doubt never stops. I still find myself having those limiting beliefs – the thoughts that come up trying to keep you in your comfort zone. Show yourself and prove to yourself that you can expand, you can continue to expand and you’re going to be okay no matter what.
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How we operate a lot in the present day is due to old fears. And a lot of the time, it’s the only thing holding us back. We think it’s other people, we think it’s what they have to say, we think it’s how they’re going to react to us – but really what it is – it’s the older version of ourselves.
Thank you so much for reading! I hope this post inspires you in overcoming self-doubt. I hope that you remember that you are doing just fine. You’re doing just fine. And if you have the doubt, it’s normal. All of us have it. Trust me, I know that resistance that comes up can be very scary and very real. And I want you to know you’re going to be okay. And it’s safe now. It’s safe now to step into what it is you want to step into – to express yourself the way that you want to.
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See you back here for the next one!