​​Hello everybody! Today, I have a very special guest: a fellow self-love coach, Chelsi Reina, who was also a student in the Self Trust Alchemy program. Please welcome Chelsi!

Before and After Self Trust Alchemy

Beatrice: Can you share a little bit about what was life like before Self Trust Alchemy, and how it’s changed since?

Chelsi: Definitely. Before Self Trust Alchemy, I was kind of lost. I was still basing my worth on other people’s validation of me without even realizing it, and I was also carrying a lot of shame around the mistakes I made in the past, including all the relationships I’d self-sabotaged and the fact that I wasn’t as far in my business as I thought I should have been.

All that shame caused me to feel like I had something to prove, so most of my time was spent doing things that I thought everybody needed from me in order to prove that I was no longer that version of myself.

However, that wasn’t sustainable. There were times when I would receive the feedback and attention I wanted, and it validated me. I knew I wasn’t that girl anymore, and more importantly, I knew that everybody else knew I wasn’t that girl anymore.

But inevitably, there would be a situation where I wouldn’t get the feedback I wanted, I wouldn’t get the likes I wanted, or a relationship would end again, and I would blame myself. I would sit and go, “I can’t win,” and it was causing a lot of burnout because I kept trying to prove myself.

So when it came to joining Self Trust Alchemy, I had finally hit breaking point. I didn’t know what else to do. I just knew that I needed it.

Even so, I almost didn’t join the program because I was scared to face what I knew I had to face in order to get to that next level.

Deep down, I knew there were some things I hadn’t worked through yet. I just kept saying, “It’s okay. I don’t need to work through that. I just need to keep exercising and keep eating healthy, and as soon as I get that really good relationship that I desire, I’ll be in a safe space. Then I’ll be able to work on it from there.”

But eventually, I had to acknowledge that relationship just wasn’t coming. So instead, I let go, joined Self Trust Alchemy, and started learning so much about myself.

Life changed in so many ways after that. I started learning about boundaries and what it meant to protect my energy and how to actually have self trust, all while dropping the shame I was experiencing so intensely.

Boundary-Setting

Chelsi: I didn’t know what boundaries really were when I started in the program. I thought that setting a boundary just meant that if someone said that they didn’t want something, I had to listen to them.

Learning that boundaries are all about protecting my energy and being able to listen to my body and knowing whether I truly wanted to do something and had enough energy to do something was so helpful.

Plus, learning how to have boundaries with myself taught me how to respect other people’s boundaries naturally, and that has improved my relationships significantly.

Confidence in All Areas

Chelsi: Long story short, after Self Trust Alchemy, I actually was able to quit my job, which was a big goal of mine. I also moved to my dream home location as well, which is right by the beach. I could walk or ride my bike to the beach if I wanted.

I’ve always wanted to live by the beach, but before Self Trust Alchemy, I thought I was going to self-sabotage my chances of living there. I was so nervous talking to the girl I was going to move in with, because we met online and we were talking and I was so sure that I was being weird.

I kept thinking, “What if she doesn’t like me? What if she chooses somebody else to be her roommate?” I just thought I was going to ruin it.

But after going through Self Trust Alchemy, through doing the work and believing in myself and my confidence and learning to communicate openly, I got the place.

So after the program, I moved out of a home that I wasn’t happy with. I quit my job. I’m getting more aligned clients in my business. It’s been amazing how much confidence changes things.

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Imposter Syndrome and Coaching

Beatrice: I would love to hear you speak a bit about how confidence affected your coaching.

Chelsi: Before Self Trust Alchemy, I actually didn’t feel worthy to be a coach. I was doing it, but I was mostly coaching my friends and the people they referred to me.

I was afraid to really open up on my podcast or on my Instagram and be authentic, because I thought I had to be perfect before I could coach on the topic that I wanted to coach on. I thought that people would call me out because I felt like I didn’t have a lot to show for my life.

There are a lot of self-love and manifestation coaches who talk about all the money they have and all the success they have or their really loving relationship, and I could only think, “What do I really have to tell people?”

I didn’t really know what to share, because I felt like I had so much shame that I was trying to overcome, and that didn’t match up with what I thought you needed to be as a coach.

What I ended up learning is that we are always exactly where we need to be. Everything is happening for me, not to me. Because I was struggling so much to figure out how to feel worthy of coaching, I actually learned what it is exactly that I should be coaching on: teaching women how to stop waiting for the perfect moment to create a life that they actually enjoy living.

You can be happy where you’re at. It doesn’t matter what kind of car you drive, what your hair looks like, how you feel inside, whatever.

I’m thirty years old. I’m single and in debt, working at a restaurant, and I just sold my car so I can ride a bike to my new job by the beach. On the outside looking in, it sure does look like I don’t have a lot, but I’ve actually never been happier in my whole life.

Working With Chelsi

Beatrice: Chelsi, this was incredible having you here. For everyone reading, if you resonate with Chelsi and she sounds like somebody you’d like to work with, I really recommend going and finding her on Instagram and connecting with her. Thank you so much for joining us!

CONNECT WITH CHELSI:

Instagram: @maintainingmyhappy

Listen to the Maintaining My Happy podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/160bfG33ZaVITFwFvSyDWt?go=1&sp_cid=0a0c8e0accbc93e47246c238a0d7edc5&utm_source=embed_player_p&utm_medium=desktop 

WORK WITH BEATRICE:

Join Self Trust Alchemy, a 16 week group program designed to help you alchemize self-doubt, overwhelm, and overthinking to NEXT-LEVEL self-trust in your ability to set boundaries, achieve your goals, and use your voice: https://beatricekamau.thrivecart.com/self-trust-alchemy/ 

CONNECT WITH BEATRICE:

Be sure to connect with me more on Instagram @theselflovefix. I’d love to hear what you thought of this episode and what your major takeaways were.

Head over to my website to learn more about how we can work together to shift your energy & transform your life.

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