Did you know that there’s a difference between speaking about setting a higher standard and actually embodying it?
When you actually embody a higher standard, that thing is felt. It is felt by other people, and people know how to act accordingly. In fact, oftentimes people act accordingly without you ever having to directly state your standard to them.
This is such an important piece of setting standards, but not many people actually talk about it. Let’s change that today.
So, what do I mean by embodying a higher standard?
It’s kind of like going into Walmart versus going into Louis Vuitton. The way you act in Walmart versus the way you act in Louis Vuitton is going to be totally different, right? You know the experience is going to be different; nobody has to tell you that. You just feel it.
This is cool shit. This is energetics, right? Nobody has to tell you. You just feel it. And why is that? You feel it through the way Louis Vuitton carries themselves versus the way Walmart carries themselves.
Now, I’m not saying anything about Walmart. I’m just saying they carry themselves differently. I’m not saying Louis Vuitton is right for carrying themselves one way, and Walmart is wrong for carrying themselves another way. They’re completely different stores, but they are both stores.
If you go into Walmart and pick something up, you might throw it in the cart. You might even decide you don’t want it later and throw it back on the shelf.
But if you’re in a Louis Vuitton store, I guarantee that if you’re holding an item, you’re not just going to throw it around if you decide you don’t want it. I guarantee you that you’re going to be more intentional when you’re examining the item. I guarantee you that you’re not going to go to that counter and say, “I only have $200. Can we make this work? Can you put me on a payment plan? I can’t really pay for it all right now, but can we…” Etcetera, etcetera. You know the price is the price, and you act accordingly. If you can’t pay for it, you’re not going to negotiate and bargain with it, because you know that they’re not even gonna entertain something like that.
When it comes to designer stores, most people don’t even go in unless they know they’re ready to purchase. That’s a different frequency than with other stores, where you might go in just to casually browse.
What’s interesting with this idea is that because of the way Louis Vuitton carries themselves, they actually call you forward to a higher standard.
I remember the first time I got something from Louis Vuitton, I did my research online. I looked it up, decided what I wanted, and prepared before I went to the store.
It called me forward to a higher standard. I knew what I wanted to get. I wasn’t wasting my own time. I wasn’t wasting other people’s time.
There’s something to be said about being in a designer store; you just feel like there’s a different level of intentionality that it evokes within you. It requires a higher standard. And when you embody your standards, the same will happen to the people around you.
This is what I want people to understand with standards: I think we’ve gotten into the habit of being very surface-level with this idea of setting a higher standard. We do a lot of talking, but what are you actually doing to uphold a higher standard you claim to have? Are you actually showing that you’re solid in that thing with your energy and frequency, or are you going back and forth depending on who’s giving you attention and what shiny object’s coming your way?
This is how standards actually play out. Standards aren’t made up of what we say; they’re made up of the energy that we carry. That energy is actually what lets people know what we’re available for and what we’re not available for.
I wanted to use this example of Walmart versus Louis Vuitton because it’s the same vibe. It’s the way they carry themselves, the way they carry their product, the way they treat their products…Louis Vuitton even has cute little shelves for their new products. They add special lighting and everything so you can see it nicely.
There’s a level of intentionality in the way they treat and market their products. They are radiating the standard that they are calling in.
By that, I mean that they’re clearly a match for the type of customer that they want to call in, because the type of customer they want to call in is somebody who’s able to afford multiple four-figures worth of items.
The way they show up is a complete match. You don’t see Louis Vuitton acting like their prices are negotiable. There aren’t any clearance, buy-one-get-one-free vibes. They call you to a higher standard just by being the way they are.
This is the way things need to be with dating. If you don’t come with this energy so that you’re actually a match for the standard you’re trying to call in…good luck calling in a man who is commitment-ready. Good luck trying to call in a man who has strong leadership skills. Good luck trying to call in a man who’s ambitious. Whatever it is you’re looking for, good luck calling it in if you’re not matching the energy you’re searching for.
I want you to be honest with yourself: is the way you show up actually the type of energy that would be attractive to the type of man you’re trying to call in?
I’m not talking about changing yourself. Let’s not even entertain that. I’m talking about rising up to the level that you say that you want to call in. There’s a very mature energy around the type of woman who attracts what she’s actually looking for.
It’s not changing up what you say you’re available for every five seconds depending on who’s coming in and who’s giving you attention.
It’s solid. No matter who’s coming in, no matter who’s not coming in, it stays completely solid.
I have so much conviction around this because when I was solid in my standards, it utterly changed my dating life. When I started to really embody a higher standard, I ended up in a relationship so fast.
First of all, the types of men I attracted changed dramatically and quickly. I also ended up in a relationship pretty quickly because I wasn’t available for the victim mindset. I wasn’t available for having conditional standards.
If I said something was a standard, you better believe my energy was behind it, and I knew how to be a match for what I was asking for. I think a lot of people actually don’t know what that means and don’t know how to integrate that to be a match for what you’re asking for.
When you lead with your standards, the way your dating life will elevate, the way things will shift, the way things will change…if you knew the level of attraction power you have within you, and if you knew how to activate it, your dating life would never look the same.
Standards have a lot to do with attraction. This goes deeper than setting a higher standard. It has everything to do with your attraction. It is a component and an element of manifestation.
I could talk about this all day long, because it is such a strong element in attraction. And if you’re still questioning this, again, think about what I just said about Walmart and Louis Vuitton. Think about what level of intentionality and what kind of interactions Louis Vuitton may call forward—AKA, attract—versus the kind of intentionality and interactions you may have with products at Walmart.
There’s a clear difference—you can’t deny that. So the next time you’re considering compromising on your standards, I hope you think back to this and remember why embodying your standards is so important to calling in people who meet a higher standard.
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