In today’s post, I’m discussing validating narcissistic abuse. I completely understand what it’s like when you haven’t been validated before and when you are feeling like a fish being thrown into the deep end as an adult, just because you are trying to understand who you are. But you probably never got the toolkit you needed to do so with confidence & reassurance. 

I also know how hard it can be when you try to relate to others or open up about your struggles and people end up minimizing it, making you feel alone. We’re going to delve into that today to help you understand how you can work towards the validation you need to start your healing journey.

A Misunderstood Trauma

It can be very difficult for individuals to understand the trauma of narcissistic abuse because it’s unique and most people haven’t experienced it for themselves. And when people haven’t experienced it, it becomes almost unfathomable to them that people have been through something so awful.

It also can be hard for people who’ve gone through narcissistic abuse to explain their trauma to others because narcissists are notorious for being abusive behind closed doors. However, in front of people on a day-to-day basis, they are charming and have a jovial persona. For that reason, if you confide in others who know the narcissist, it can be really hard for them to believe you.

This experience of the person having a “Jekyll and Hyde” persona when you’re in private versus in public can be so damaging, and it can almost make you think you’re crazy. Like, “Am I suffering this type of abuse? What’s actually going on here?” You can gaslight yourself because it’s really confusing and difficult to feel validated on your own.

Developing a Support System

That brings me to my next point, of why it’s so important to develop a support system to help you feel validated regarding the narcissistic abuse you suffered. However, you don’t want to confide in just anyone about this abuse. This is because, as mentioned above, it can be very hard for people to connect with your experience. This type of abuse is simply unfathomable to many people who haven’t experienced it or anything like it. 

So, it’s so important to be selective with who you are vulnerable with regarding this, because confiding in someone who invalidates your feelings – even if it’s not intentional – is incredibly damaging to you and your journey. 

Consider enlisting in the help of a therapist or trained professional. Especially someone who specializes in this type of abuse could be a great resource in truly solidifying that validation and helping you recover from what you’ve suffered.

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Reshuffle The Deck Your Were Dealt: The Bottom Line

At the end of the day, it’s really hard work to validate your feelings surrounding narcissistic abuse. However, it’s work that’s worth it in the end. Remember that your feelings, anxiety, and trauma are evidence of what you’ve gone through. What you have endured is real.

Lean into whatever you need to validate your feelings, and be sure to get that strong support system in place during this long process. Once you validate your feelings, you’ll feel a hole inside of you begin to fill up.

Thank you sooo much for reading!

Be sure to connect with me more over on Instagram, I’d love to hear what you thought of this post and what your major takeaways were. 

And if you are looking for more guidance in validating your story, join me for a live Zoom masterclass event. Self-Trust After Narcissistic Abuse can help you learn how to shift into the unwavering certainty that if you feel it, if you experienced it, it’s real.

Head over to my website to learn more about how we can work together to shift your energy & transform your life.

See you back here for the next one! 

xx Beatrice