Boundaries are so important.
But, they’re not always easy to set.
If you’ve found yourself struggling when it comes to setting boundaries or you find yourself questioning whether the boundaries you want to set are even worth doing so, this post is for you.
I want to address a few common struggles when it comes to boundary setting and how you can overcome them. You deserve to set boundaries, you deserve to have healthy and happy relationships in your life! Don’t be afraid to hone in on your feelings and do what you need in order to achieve inner peace.
A common reason you may be avoiding setting boundaries with those around you could be that you want to avoid conflict, which is understandable. But let’s put that into perspective for a moment…
Oftentimes there’s a circumstance or situation that conditions us to believe our needs aren’t important enough to be heard. We find that speaking up and vocalizing these boundaries is almost seen as a burden.
But ask yourself this question the next time you find yourself feeling as if your needs aren’t worth being heard – “Does that make sense?”
Really think about it. Why would speaking up about our personal needs and setting boundaries ever need to elicit conflict? In other words, why would it be okay for someone else to completely disregard your thoughts, feelings, and needs?
Once you shift your mindset away from the belief that others will get upset or others won’t respect your boundaries and into the focus of your needs and wants being equally as important as everyone else’s, you can approach boundary setting with a better mentality.
If we don’t set boundaries, we struggle to contain ourselves.
Meaning, we have no container and we have no structure for ourselves. Instead, we are too busy being everywhere and anywhere for other people, and not for us.
Boundaries are crucial because at the end of the day, we all have different perspectives. We all have different likes and dislikes.
Boundaries are the key distinction between you and everyone else. In fact, if we don’t set boundaries for ourselves, it’s almost disrespectful to us to allow someone else to come into our contained area unwarranted.
Another thing to keep in mind with boundaries is that you’ll set particular ones for each relationship in your life, and that’s okay.
For example, you may have a partner who you like to contact you every single day. However, when it comes to your parents, maybe you prefer less frequent communication. And that’s okay!
You are allowed to set those boundaries. You are allowed to have a different line of communication and contact with each person in your life. And the ones who react negatively or get upset with you simply might not know how to set their own boundaries- and as a result, they don’t know how to handle the fact that you have your own.
LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS | LISTEN ON SPOTIFY | LISTEN ON GOOGLE PODCASTS
The ones in your life who react negatively to your boundaries are no reflection of you.
That’s their opinion and that’s their thought. For you, the question is… what are you okay with?
People may try to manipulate you and make you feel bad for setting boundaries, but you have to remember you are you. They are them. You are two different individuals.
It is not your responsibility to fix or address how someone else feels about your boundaries. That’s on them to deal with. Remember that even when it comes to setting a boundary with someone who you know will not be very receptive, someone who’s “difficult”, that just means you need to be even more firm and clear.
The best thing you can do is stay firm and stay rooted. Sometimes, people will try to manipulate and sway you in a direction of whatever they prefer, but if you stay unmoving and you stay firm in your boundary, they will eventually understand.
Boundaries are not meant to be confusing, they’re meant to be crystal clear.
Setting boundaries is something that you have the full right and access to. In order to maintain a healthy and happy relationship, boundaries are crucial. They’re how we distinguish between ourselves and someone else. You deserve to choose how much access someone has to you and how much of your time goes to someone.
Thank you sooo much for reading! I hope this post has helped you realize you are not broken and you definitely don’t need fixing. Together, we can unlock your next level – a life full of confidence, alignment, and truly embodying who you are.
Make sure you pre-enroll for my *new* membership, the Self Love Fix Collective! You can check out the Pay in Full Plan here and the Payment Plan here.
Be sure to connect with me more over on Instagram, I’d love to hear what you thought of this post and what your major takeaways were.
See you back here for the next one!